Hogs of War review

 

Hogs of War

Some games are just plain damned fun. And when you start to dig deeper, you will see that there is actually a pretty good game there that has been well thought over. This is one of those games. Hogs of War is many hours of not only single player fun, but many more multiplayer hours as well. As being a PS1 and PC game, does it hold up to the test of time?


Ladies and Gentlemen, I’d like to welcome you to Saustralasia, a collection of islands in the south pacific shaped like a pig. The islands have been found to be a rich source of swill and nations from across the world swoop in to claim the land for their own.
Uncle Ham’s Hogs are the proud American nation, Piggystroika are the Russian comrades, Sow-A-Krouts are the German troops, the Garlic Grunts are the cowardly French, the Sushi Swine are our Japanese warriors and then there are the Tommy’s Trotters, the Brits of the bunch.
Under the watchful command of General I.P. Grimly, the nation of your choosing will go in to battle and wage war against the others to make their claim on the throne.

As a game during the Playstation 1 era, Hogs of War looked very simple, even for its time. There are very few details to be found in the environment and many maps are plain and simple locations like a giant bowl, the moon or something like that. The pigs do look rather good as do their weapons, and their animations are what’s best developed in the entire game.
There are also a few graphical glitches to be found, but they are nothing that you haven’t seen before in games from that era. Talking about clipping and the like.

Now sound wise is where the game really starts to suck you in. Whilst the music mostly fades to the background, the rest really stands out by miles. The sound effects all do their jobs quite nicely, from the gunshots to the explosions to the grunts of the pigs. What really sets this game apart is that this is perhaps the only game where I can remember most of the sound effects. That is how distinct they are.
You may wonder what’s so good about all of this that it’s going to suck you in. So I’ll get right to that. One name: Rik Mayall. Remember that name well because he is the man who does all of the voice work for this, both in narration and for the individual swines.  The man does it so well that up to now, when I researched this game, I had no clue that he was the only voice actor. And the man produces the funniest lines I have ever heard in a game, ever. Beating even Daxter from Jak and Daxter.
Each team has their own different nationality and each hog has their own individual voice. Narrating is a man who comments at the end of each round, saying something derogative to the loser or something complementing to the winner. This right here is reason enough for you to play this game at one point in your life.

As far as controls go, this is fairly simple. Jump, weapon menu, aim, cancel, use. It’s all there and it’s all straight to the point. Yes, it might be a bit stiff, but it’s an older game and stiff comes with the territory. Thing is that this only ads to the experience as I’ll get in to in a bit. There are however, a problems with the controls that need to be addressed. For one, there are certain weapons in the game that require pinpoint accuracy. Like the mortar. Like a real mortar, it can fire at great distances.  Using it activates a degree bar on the top right where you can chose at which degree you will fire it. Problem is that one degree more is easily a double number in meters. Another thing is that maneuvering through a minefield can be a real bitch.

In the single player campaign, the player begins with a standard team of grunts. These grunts are indeed basic, as their equipment isn’t much to speak of. Lucky for you, the NPC teams opposing you are grunts as well. It’s your job to get rid of every single NPC hog to claim that territory and move on to the next one. As this is a turn-based game, you control one hog at a time for a limited amount of time. Once you use a weapon, your turn is up and the other team gets their turn. Once your hog dies as you control it, your turn is up. Of course, experienced players can find loopholes to cheat your ass off and get a few more deaths. Like any good turn based game, each hog has a set amount of health that can be afflicted by damage and periodic damage like poison.
Now, once you finish a map, your hogs level up and gain in rank. The higher the rank of a hog, the more toys you get to play with. There are several kinds of ranks you can level your hog up to like grenadier, medic, parachutist and more. Once a hog dies though, he’s wiped off your roster and replaced by a grunt fresh out of boot camp.

Besides the hogs, a few more things can be found on the map. Like cannons, bunkers, health pickups and weapon pickups.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is this game in a nutshell. But, as I said, you need to go deeper. And I could make an Inception joke here, but I am way to classy for that. AHAHAHAHAHAHA, yeah I don’t buy it either. But I’m still not going to make that joke. Anyhoo, at its core, this is a very strategic game that only becomes more strategic once you start to level up your hogs.
For example, let’s say you have a parachutist. This hog has a jetpack at its disposal. A jetpack will launch this hog forward in to the air. You need to press the button that has your hog take off the jetpack and use his parachute to get safely to the ground otherwise it and the jetpack will explode. Time it right and the jetpack could fall on to an enemy hog.
Then there are the mines. Setting a mine doesn’t cause any damage and thus you can set several to make sure that there is a lot of coverage.
There are also many bodies of water to be found on the maps. When a hog falls in to this water, he is too heavy to stay above and thus he can’t breathe, causing him to lose health until he manages to swim to the shore. If you manage to launch the pig far enough in to the water, he will swim to the closest piece of land. Meaning you can get it to swim for a minefield. If it activates a mine, bye bye Hog. If it doesn’t. HAVE FUN NPC.
Besides these things, you also need to be very strategic with what you do. Some hogs carry dynamite that can really damage your party. If he is at the far side of your hogs, lower his health far enough so that his health is nothing more than a measly crawl. This way you basically get a free turn if that hog is unable to hurt one of your hogs.

Still, at the end of the day, this might all sound like it’s a fun time. But it’s actually nothing compared to the multiplayer. It may be local multiplayer, but it allows for four players to be involved. Plus it gives you the option to put the NPC in control of the vacant team slots.
The multiplayer is divided in to sets of maps that range from beginner to expert, each having their own set of terms and rules that will keep you entertained. Then there is also a level generator that allows you to set your own terms and your own rules for maximum enjoyment.
Multiplayer is definitely the preferred mode of choice as having another person next to you ads so much more to the experience. This is like watching a really crappy movie and the two of you are riffing from start to finish, only it’s a fantastic game.

9/10

Buy it.

Hogs of War is great family fun. Even today, this game will keep you, your family and your friends entertained for hours on end. Simplistic graphics aside, this game is simple fantastic and I will never, ever get rid of it.