Brothers in Arms: Hell's Highway - Quick review

You know, most people think of traffic jams when they hear Hell’s Highway. Where you’re stuck in a traffic jam for miles on end, seeing nothing but grotesque human beings in the cars around you and idiots picking their nose as they flick it out their window. With you banging your head against the steering wheel or against the dash until you start bleeding brain matter.

However, if you’re a gamer, you just might think of a game released a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

This is Puddle Jumper for Greyarch Entertainment with a review of the 2008 videogame:

Brothers in Arms: Hell’s Highway.

The game takes place after Earned in Blood, centering around Operation Market Garden in the later stages of the second world war. Matt Baker reprises his role as the main character. This time however you don’t just watch the entire game through his eyes, story segments and all. Gearbox this time used cut scenes that could have been taken straight from an epic movie like Saving Private Ryan or a series like Band of Brothers. The feel, the looks, the sound, … everything is absolutely amazing. You can clearly tell that this is the third installment for the consoles because the voice actors and the developers have this thing down to an art.

Not only are the cut scenes top notch, but the story is absolutely amazing as well. This is one of the rare games that actually had me shed some manly tears. If you’ve already played this game, you probably know which scene I’m talking about. With Baker and Hartsock.

To add to the realistic feel of the game, the developers remade Holland quite well, having Dutch characters talking actual dutch as well.

And then there’s the great soundtrack that is just perfect of a World war II shooter of this scale.

In the end however, there’s a still a few things that need to be mentioned. The graphics show that it’s a 2008 game, though it’s still amazing. The voice acting might be superb but the weapons sound funky. And you need to have played the previous games to really get the full experience of the story, even though the game does a dang good job of keeping you informed.

So now we know how it looks and sounds, but how is the gameplay?

At its core, it’s a Brothers in Arms game. But what does that mean to those of you who don’t know squat about these games? A quick recap:

Brothers in Arms is a series of games that focuses on squad based combat where you take control of a single character in first person view that you can control like any other first person shooter but you have the advantage of being able to command one to three teams of three people who each have their specialty. Thus it is your job to guide these men from point A to point B, fulfilling your job along the way.

Everything is basically the same as in the previous Brothers in Arms game with a few exceptions.

Aaand here they are!

There’s a Ring now that displays where you grenade is going to land. Ish anyways as throwing is still incredibly difficult, what with the ring warping from one spot to another if you want to actually aim.

There’s no longer a general fall back or take cover button, making you have to manually move your teams every time.

Finally, there’s a cover system. No longer do you have to crouch to cover, you can just start hugging the wall like a needy school girl seeing that emo vampire from Twilight. You can also aim over the wall, to the right of the wall and to the far right … or left …. Ya know.

Finally, no more health bar. It’s regenerating health time. Though in this game it’s quite welcome, as you will no longer have to restart to a checkpoint because some Nazies could hear you coming even though you circled them by a mile and there’s more noise than at a rock concert.

Now, the game takes your from set piece to set piece, going through loads of Nazis by using your strategic mind. To aid you in mapping out a game plan, the game offers you a map, on which you can see you, your teams, enemy teams, objectives and every hedge, road, building or things of the sort. Plus the map, the game also offers you suppression meters above the enemy teams so that you not only know if they’re suppressed or not, but where they are as well. That’s always useful plus you will use this more than you will use the map, since it doesn’t require you to break up the game.

Here are my final thoughts. Now this is the part where you need to pay attention kids.

Right, the game is by far the best of the series. Everything about this game warrants its starting price and the current price. The gameplay is smooth but faulty at points, though nothing that can’t be forgiven. There’s no trophies on the PS3 but there are now Achievements on the 360. They’ve taken the previous game and they improved them immensely. The story will be with you for a long, long time. And there’s even something to lengthen the game, namely that you can collect Killroy’s, drawings that you need to complete that were actually drawn by American soldiers during World war II.

In the end, this game is a definitey buy.

This has been Puddle Jumper, I’ll see you later.

Naughty Dawg signature

So yeah, I changed my name on one of the forums and that deserves a brand new sig, using the image from the wallpaper.
The forum in question is the forum of Healing Touch, which can be found here: http://thehealingtouch.wordpress.com/

GTA IV Signature

This is a signature for the videogame GTA IV including the characters: Lola and the Bellic brothers.

Lola is in there as eye candy so there's no point in going deeper in to her presence, as she isn't even in the game. The Bellic brothers however are in there for the awesomeness that they are. Fuck, Niko is now my favorite video game character and Roman is a funny guy. And also one of the more normal characters in the game ... and that's saying much. But because Rome isn't the main character, he stands proudly behind Niko.

Superman Wallpaper

This is a wallpaper of the DC comics character Superman and his love interest, Lois Lane.

My very first wallpaper too. I wanted to make it a complicated one to see how I did and what the reactions would be. Next time I try one its going to be simple though, as the first ones always should be.

So yeah, give me some reactions and this one is free to download and use as you please. I'ma not stopping you.

I might use that LL and SM image in a signature, dunno yet.

OP on DeviantArt: http://greyarch.deviantart.com/art/Superman-Wallpaper-149812964

Saints Row 2 Signature

This is a signature made from a wallpaper of the videogame: Saints Row 2.

I just couldn't resist this one. Once again its simple but I couldn't resist making it with the character and the symbol behind her.

FFX XIII Fang Signature

This is Fang from the upcoming videogame: Final Fantasy XIII.

I just couldn't resist myself in to making it. The sig itself is simple cuz I was more interested in the sitting part xD

Monthy Python and the Assassin's Creed

A few years ago we were promised a videogame unlike we’ve ever played before. Set hundreds of years ago, this game would take place in such historic cities as Jeruzalem and Damascus. We would be able to freely move about these cities using parcours and between them using horses. Also promised to us was an intuitive battle system and a series of amazing assassination’s of historical figures. The game sold well and critics everywhere agreed that it was a good game, but that there was a lot of room for improvement. Recently we received the sequel, that answered all of our prayers. But does the first one still hold up? This is Puddle Jumper for Greyarch Entertainment and Teh Pwn Shop, presenting proudly to you:

Monty Python

And the

Assassin’s Creed

The story takes place in the distant year of … well, 2012. We find the hero of this tale trapped in a machine that allows a human being to relive the lives of their ancestors by reading their memories in the subject’s DNA. After this surprising futuristic beginning to a story in the old Middle East, Desmond Miles, our hero, returns to an ancestor known as Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad, or Altaïr Son of None.

Born in to a world of Assassins, Altaïr is under the guidance of his master: Al Mualim. Taught to be the best of the best, it is his destiny uphold the creeds of the assassins. These creeds are:

-) Stay your blade from the flesh of the innocents

--) Hide in plain sight. Let the people mask you such that you become one with the crowd.

---) Never compromise the brotherhood.

Because of his actions in the mission you step in to, Altaïr is both stripped of his rank as his weapons. Not only that, but he magically forgot how to grab ledges, tackle a crowd and more stuff that should come natural to even a little kid. Yeah, I know he is now no longer a Master Assassin but that doesn’t mean he is degraded to the rank of blithering idiot. I very much doubt they want to train retards to assassins, seeing as they will more than likely fail.

ANYHOO, to regain his former rank, Altaïr is instructed to go after nine of the brotherhood’s enemies that pose a great threat not only to them but to the world as well. These are your targets, they are the ones you are supposed to slay.

Throughout the game you discover a story that has you guessing up to the very end, after which you’re still guessing on a lot of things. Altaïr’s story however is self contained, though there is still a lot more to it than just this one game. Everything from the past is done remarkably well story wise. Not to mention the characters that you encounter along the way like King Richard, Robert de Sable, William of Montferat and others. Not to mention the careful reconstructions of the cities like Masyaf, that are as accurate as they can be, with some being scarily correct. All in all, it’s a great story that will keep you hooked in to the end. And believe me, that’s a definite plus.

For a 2007 game, Assassin’s Creed looks absolutely amazing. Most of the character models look good, though some are still edgy and rough around the edges. The cities look stunning, detailed and are jaw droopingly beautiful. Which sucked because once again I had to pay to get the floor fixed. I just had it fixed from Italy in Assassin’s Creed II damn it! At any rate, though the cities are as amazing like in the sequel, the outdoors are perhaps even more depressing. Seeing as they are far more massive and there’s no nifty carriage ride over there. It’s all horseback baby. Trekking through the wastelands … Even though there’s more people in this game, I still prefer trekking through the dessert in Mad Max.

The counter attack animations are a lot of fun to observe. Very brutal and violent, sometimes leaving your victims bleeding and screaming in agony as if they were being tortured by Jigsaw.

Now the sound, this is where it all starts to fall apart. First and foremost, these are the words you will hear the most and are voiced by the most annoying actor in town: “Just a few coins, sir! Please, spare a few coins. But, sir, you don’t understand I’m poor. Just a few coins, sir.” Suddenly the begger casualty rate went through the roof. But then I just used my god almighty pimp hand to slap that bitch in to the kitchen where she belongs.

Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Whaaaaaat?

The rest of the sounds themselves aren’t really all that good either as most of it is either ambience noise, like a laugh track only with a big crowd, a church or other things of the sort. Then there’s the voice acting. My god the voice acting. More than half of the people in Acre and the majority of the guards there speak like they came straight of a Monty Python movie. I’m laughing my balls off every time a guard opens up his big jap telling me I need to get off the roof or who’s responsible for subject A’s death. Fuck, they’re not the least bit intimidating at all.

The general soundtrack however is superb and definitely belongs in the top twenty of gaming soundtracks ever made.

Now I really have to go back in time because in retrospect, Assassin’s Creed doesn’t hold up all that well in regards to gameplay.

On the ps3 there are four buttons on the right side that each represent a part of Altaïr’s body. Triangle is for the head, square for his left hand and circle for his right and finally the cross is for his legs. Just don’t press the cross and the right hand button at the same time cuz he then does something really, really porny… NAH, just kidding. Wish I could see the look on your face though. Well, the look on those very few that bought this.

The two main features of gameplay are the parcours and the combat. So let’s look at these first before we look at anything else.

The parcours can be done anywhere you want to. As long as there is something where Altaïr can jump or something that he can hold on to. And surprisingly, every building has at least one or two things on to which he can hang to. Or between buildings or on market stalls. Doing it is also easy enough as all you need to do is press forward, the legs button and the High Profile button, which changes the actions you can do to things that are socially unacceptable. I’ve got no issue with the parcours at all really. It’s the most awesome thing I have ever seen and I’m definitely going to buy InFamous now.

Now let’s talk about the combat. Perhaps the second most flawed aspect of the entire game. Combat needs to be avoided in memory block one. Definitely. I’ll tell you why now. Do you remember when I wrote that Altaïr magically forgot skills? Counter attacking was one of them and the combo kill doesn’t work at all. It takes unbelievably good timing in a situation where you need to pay attention to everything so you do not get hit. Once you do get your counter kill though, combat is safe to do once more. Because from then on, all you need to do is stand there and wait for your opponent to strike. Gaming wise, not exactly thrilling for a lot of people, but very thrilling for those able to live in the situation. Though Counter attacking will fail 70% of the time, forcing you to go on the defensive until you are back in synch with the machine Desmond occupies.

This is what you do though:

Go up a ladder and make sure it’s the only ladder nearby. Wait for your enemy to climb to the top and cut them down, making them fall to the ground and to their death. Wait for the next one to come and repeat the process. No damage, easiest kills.

Stealth assassination’s are preferred though. Just take your hidden blade and go for it. Plus, it makes a boss assassination a lot more intense. Seriously, it really makes your blood pumping to stalk up to your foe and cut him down in the middle of all his guards and allies.

But the one thing that makes this entire stealth approach unbearable are the guards. My fucking lord. Do these guys have pimped up gaydars or something that have an app for assassins? If you do something socially unacceptable, they will recognize you and will attack you. But for the love of god, inside the city you have a bit more leverage to what you can do but outside … You are FUCKED if you so much as even sneeze wrong. “ASSASSIN! ATTACK! DIE ASSASSIN?” “The fuck did I do?” “You jogged!” “My god, I now know the evils of my ways! Jogging is EVIL!” It’s like I have a giant fuck-me-light strapped to my back and a kick-me-sign on my forehead.

You can’t talk about the combat and not talk about keeping a low profile. Which brings us to the most ridiculous contraption ever designed for a video game: the Blend feature. What is this blend feature, you might ask? By pressing the cross, on the PS3 version, you will put your hands together like you are praying, pretending to be a scholar. Problem is that our assassin man is still carrying a fuckload of knives, a small blade on his back and a humongous sword on his side. Not to mention the rest of his equipment that’s absofuckinglutely nothing like a Scholar’s wardrobe. This feature is like a hiding place really where guards will not pay attention to you. Literally. Here’s an example: two guards are standing across from each other, no more than a few meters apart. They have a clear line of sight and I stealth kill one of them. There is no way in hell that the guard could have missed that and he didn’t. Because the guard went in to high alert. But before the thing went in to combat mode, I pressed blend. Presto, I’m gone and the Monty Python reject is left wondering where the fuck the killer is. SPLENDID!

Let’s talk missions then. It’s your job to assassinate The Nine, and you do so by:

1) going to a city on horseback, which controls like Altaïr, only stiffer.

2) going to a viewpoint to locate the assassin’s bureau. The viewpoints are necessary as well to fill out the map.

3) Pick pocketing, eavesdropping, beating up people and then interrogating them and getting information from members of the brotherhood at the expense of either a helping mission or a flag collecting mission. Or a race

4) the main story mission where you assassinate.

And that is the game … no, seriously. That’s it. That’s all you do. Well, yeah, there’s more to it but that is the basis of the game. You can’t have a base without support pillars though so let’s dig in to those for a while.

Firstly, there are two things you need to do when entering a city. One is to get all of the viewpoints in the city, which will reveal the second thing: the citizens. Save all of the citizens. There are two types of citizens that need saving. One is the regular citizen who’s family will get in the way of your pursuers, slowing them down. The others are the scholar, between whom you blend to take you in to areas you wouldn’t be able to access otherwise. Extremely helpful for a few assassinations, mind you.

Then you can also aid your brotherhood’s cause by eliminating Templar guards scattered across the entire map. They can be pretty tricky to find as they can be absolutely anywhere.

And then you can … euh … collect … flags … I dunno. These flags are useless really and they’re showboat material only. But these are just a waste of your time as they do absolutely squat. Plus, there’s HUNDREDS OF THEM. My god, it’s like Hitchcock’s: The Birds only with flags.

To help you throughout all of this, Altaïr can use his eagle vision when in fully synchronization with the machine Desmond occupies. This sends you in to first person when standing still, allowing you to view your surroundings and see everything important. But euh, let’s just say it isn’t Animus 2.0. At least the characters in the game keep their colors for a while after you get out of the vision. Meaning that either they’re red for enemy, blue for ally and so on.

In the end, this game has a lot of flaws. But the benefits that you get even things out quite well. If you’re not sure wether or not to pick up this game or even if you are planning to buy it, this is what you do first:

RENT IT.

Final thoughts: The story of Assassin’s Creed is essential if you want to buy Assassin’s Creed II. This is not like Killzone II where you can skip the first game. Luckily by now, the first game should have had a significant price drop.

The story itself is still something that will stick with you for quite some time, just because it takes you to so many characters and locations of the past.

The graphics of are stunning to observe at all times of the day. Viewpoints form a small video that even add to the beauty of the city, after which you can easily change the camera yourself to fully enjoy the experience.

Sound wise there are a few things that are noticeably off but in the end the soundtrack more than makes up for it.

The gameplay is flawed as well but it’s still an incredible experience to roam about the cities within Assassin’s Creed, reaching incredible heights and lows with just the press of a few buttons. And almost all of the assassinations and many of the side missions can be done in such a way that it’s truly something for the history books.

In the end, if you’ll rent it like I suggest, you can keep all that money for Assassin’s Creed II, having the full experience of the original Creed with full knowledge of the story.

This has been Puddle Jumper with a review for the Ubisoft videogame: Assassin’s Creed.