Chronicles of Nuzlocke
Chapter Four
Playing through this, Nuzlocke style, made me realize just how much the old ways are branded in to my brain. I keep putting my pokémon at risk only to realize in the nick of time that I need to peddle back before I lose them. If I’m going to make this a successful run, I need to get my act together. And fast. Managed to keep my pokémon faint free for now, though. Here’s to hoping I keep up that trend.
Route 104
Seriously resisting the urge to catch a bird pokémon. I know that later on I’m going to get the Fly HM and I really don’t want to miss out on that. Cuz I’m a lazy bastard, you know.
But yeah, defeated another youngster and then passed by Mister Briney’s cottage. Nobody was home so I robbed that sucker, took a dump in his toilet without flushing and carried on with my great adventure.
Next up on this route was a rich kid named Winston. He lost to me and handed over a 1000 bucks. Clumsy rich kid, AMIRITE?
Petalburg Woods
Seems like every pokémon game has a level like this near the beginning. A forest area with a lot of bug catchers. Pffft. Ah well, new area! Let’s see what I can catch. First thing that happens is that a Shroomish attacks me. First pokémon, need to catch it. Here’s to my new team member: Shroomish! So, it’s a mushroom and if you lick it, you’ll probably see pink elephants. Yeah, I’m calling it Wiseau. One training montage later, Wiseau is leveled up and ready to roll out! Cool thing was, during that training montage, there was this rad 80’s music in the background that came from nowhere.
After I royally and utterly kicked the ass of a bug catcher and his measly Wurmple’s, I met this corporate guy, says he’s a Devon Researcher and that he’s round and about looking for a Shroomish. About to claim I don’t have a Shroomish and that he needs to fuck off before I call the cops, a Team Magma member appears. He wanted to jump the researcher and take his papers! Wiped the floor with him, got thanked by the Researcher, who gave me his Great Ball (Ieuwwwww) and then headed back to pick up a poke ball in Route 104 that was only available via the forest. After that I made my way through the forest and headed for Rustboro!
Route 104 (Cont)
So yeah, back here again, only beyond the forest. First thing I did was visit the Pretty Petal flower shop and talk to them damned hippies who like flowers and the bees and berries and whatnot. Probably stoned out of their ass from licking Shroomish. Got a Wailmer Pale and some Lepra berries out of it though … wait *rereads* LEPPA BERRIES. HA … HAHA … haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Along the way I had a few more battles including one with twins Gina and Mia. Unfortunately both my character and the twins were underage so I had to settle with a double battle. They pulled out Lotad and Seedot and I got Darkman and Wiseau on the case. They didn’t last long. And apparently Fisherman Ivan, who is further down the Route, is THE water pokémon expert. Misty have a sex change?
Rustboro City
I do what I normally do when I reach a new city, pinky. TRY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD! Wait …
After selling off my Revives (MO MONEY, MO MONEY, MO MONAY!) and buying other supplies, I head around town and visit every building, talk to every person and see what’s there for the taking. This way I managed to obtain the HM Cut, though I need the gym badge to use that, then I got the Quick Claw from a teacher who liked to use it on his students (0.0) and Devon Corp was closed to the public.
Route 116
Before I tackle the great gym leader of Rustboro, I wanted to catch another member to the team. Guys, welcome my new Nincada, which I named Tatsumaru after the character in Tenchu II and Wrath of Heaven. Here comes another training montage! WHOO!
Rustboro Gym
Roxanne is a rock type gym leader so the young hipsters in her gym are probably wielding huge stones as well. Here’s to hoping I can pull this off!
Seeing as Tatsumaru still has something to prove, I sick him on the first guy in the room. Easy money! Wiseau was the one to knock off the second and last trainer. One pokémon center visit later, I went on to tackle Roxanne and show her who’s boss!
FUCK ME, WHAT, LEVEL FOURTEEN, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? FUCK ME! WISEAU, noooooo! Oh thank god, SWITCH! Go Tatsumaru! He’s nicely armored so he sand attacked that geodude till he could see shit. FRANK WEST then came in and finished the job. Wrince and repeat with the LEVEL FIFTEEN NOSEPASS THAT ALMOST KILLED TATSUMARU. Fuck that noise. FRANK WEST was put on the bench and I put in Wiseau, who got healed with a super potion so that he could finish off the Sand Attack stricken Nosepass.
VICTORY WAS MINE! Not a single loss! Though it was a close one. The badge is mine and so is the TM Rock Tomb. I have a special pokémon in mind for that one but I don’t want to spoil it. I’ve been rather lucky so far … So, off to the Pokécenter I go. And then a Team Magma member comes running by, with the Devon Researcher in hot persuit. I wonder what’s going on? They were heading to Route 116. Better check this out.
Route 104
Seriously resisting the urge to catch a bird pokémon. I know that later on I’m going to get the Fly HM and I really don’t want to miss out on that. Cuz I’m a lazy bastard, you know.
But yeah, defeated another youngster and then passed by Mister Briney’s cottage. Nobody was home so I robbed that sucker, took a dump in his toilet without flushing and carried on with my great adventure.
Next up on this route was a rich kid named Winston. He lost to me and handed over a 1000 bucks. Clumsy rich kid, AMIRITE?
Petalburg Woods
Seems like every pokémon game has a level like this near the beginning. A forest area with a lot of bug catchers. Pffft. Ah well, new area! Let’s see what I can catch. First thing that happens is that a Shroomish attacks me. First pokémon, need to catch it. Here’s to my new team member: Shroomish! So, it’s a mushroom and if you lick it, you’ll probably see pink elephants. Yeah, I’m calling it Wiseau. One training montage later, Wiseau is leveled up and ready to roll out! Cool thing was, during that training montage, there was this rad 80’s music in the background that came from nowhere.
After I royally and utterly kicked the ass of a bug catcher and his measly Wurmple’s, I met this corporate guy, says he’s a Devon Researcher and that he’s round and about looking for a Shroomish. About to claim I don’t have a Shroomish and that he needs to fuck off before I call the cops, a Team Magma member appears. He wanted to jump the researcher and take his papers! Wiped the floor with him, got thanked by the Researcher, who gave me his Great Ball (Ieuwwwww) and then headed back to pick up a poke ball in Route 104 that was only available via the forest. After that I made my way through the forest and headed for Rustboro!
Route 104 (Cont)
So yeah, back here again, only beyond the forest. First thing I did was visit the Pretty Petal flower shop and talk to them damned hippies who like flowers and the bees and berries and whatnot. Probably stoned out of their ass from licking Shroomish. Got a Wailmer Pale and some Lepra berries out of it though … wait *rereads* LEPPA BERRIES. HA … HAHA … haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Along the way I had a few more battles including one with twins Gina and Mia. Unfortunately both my character and the twins were underage so I had to settle with a double battle. They pulled out Lotad and Seedot and I got Darkman and Wiseau on the case. They didn’t last long. And apparently Fisherman Ivan, who is further down the Route, is THE water pokémon expert. Misty have a sex change?
Rustboro City
I do what I normally do when I reach a new city, pinky. TRY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD! Wait …
After selling off my Revives (MO MONEY, MO MONEY, MO MONAY!) and buying other supplies, I head around town and visit every building, talk to every person and see what’s there for the taking. This way I managed to obtain the HM Cut, though I need the gym badge to use that, then I got the Quick Claw from a teacher who liked to use it on his students (0.0) and Devon Corp was closed to the public.
Route 116
Before I tackle the great gym leader of Rustboro, I wanted to catch another member to the team. Guys, welcome my new Nincada, which I named Tatsumaru after the character in Tenchu II and Wrath of Heaven. Here comes another training montage! WHOO!
Rustboro Gym
Roxanne is a rock type gym leader so the young hipsters in her gym are probably wielding huge stones as well. Here’s to hoping I can pull this off!
Seeing as Tatsumaru still has something to prove, I sick him on the first guy in the room. Easy money! Wiseau was the one to knock off the second and last trainer. One pokémon center visit later, I went on to tackle Roxanne and show her who’s boss!
FUCK ME, WHAT, LEVEL FOURTEEN, ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? FUCK ME! WISEAU, noooooo! Oh thank god, SWITCH! Go Tatsumaru! He’s nicely armored so he sand attacked that geodude till he could see shit. FRANK WEST then came in and finished the job. Wrince and repeat with the LEVEL FIFTEEN NOSEPASS THAT ALMOST KILLED TATSUMARU. Fuck that noise. FRANK WEST was put on the bench and I put in Wiseau, who got healed with a super potion so that he could finish off the Sand Attack stricken Nosepass.
VICTORY WAS MINE! Not a single loss! Though it was a close one. The badge is mine and so is the TM Rock Tomb. I have a special pokémon in mind for that one but I don’t want to spoil it. I’ve been rather lucky so far … So, off to the Pokécenter I go. And then a Team Magma member comes running by, with the Devon Researcher in hot persuit. I wonder what’s going on? They were heading to Route 116. Better check this out.
Character: Dastan
Team:
FRANK WEST - Torchic (lvl 13)
Darkman - Poochyena (lvl 12)
C. Walken - Zigzagoon (lvl 13)
Soulja Boy - Dustox (lvl 13)
Wiseau - Shroomish (lvl 12)
Tatsumaru - Nincada (lvl 11)
Fallen Heroes:
N/A
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