Chronicles of Nuzlocke
Chapter Five
Chapter Five
Consider this: If you’re pokémon are dead after they faint, doesn’t that mean that all other pokémon should be considered dead as well? Think about it. You’re commiting mass murder here by having innocent creatures duke it out to their death. I just killed two innocent pokémon and I got a badge for it, but after I brutally slayed dozens of pokémon to make my pokémon stronger.
Enough of that! Back to the game!
Route 116
Seems the researcher was standing at the edge of town, hoping to find someone to help him. After he told me that he remembered me as being that FANTASTIC trainer of before, he asked me if I wanted to help. It shows he’s a pencil pusher. Slimeball.
Of course I agreed to his request, not like I had a choice here, and went in to hot persuit. Took out all the trainers that were in my way and Darkman learned Bite as well. All was well with the world!
Taught Tatsumaru Cut and then proceeded to cut through some thick bush. Takes me back to when I had a girlfriend. Wait … what? FUCK, you did not need to know that! Sorry, honey.
I met up with a guy blocking my way in to a building. He told me that the Team Magma member had gone in to a tunnel and might cause an uproar with the pokémon there, probably causing a cave-in if that happened. Apparantly the Team Magma member is a Manchester fan and the pokémon there are Liverpool fans. TROUBLE IS ABOUT TO ENSUE.
In front of the cave is an old fart that tells me his Peeko is inside, taken by the Magma guy. Yeah, I’m really starting to dislike this guy.
Rusturf Tunnel
Caught a Whismur. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay … whooooooooo …. Yippie … ka … fuck it. Calling it Steve and let it be shipped to the computer. Bye Steve.
Following this I went deeper in the cave (That’s what she said) and fought with the Team Magma Grunt. Again with the dog! It’s time to screw the poochyena again! C. Walken … FLAWLESS VICTORY. Didn’t even hit him. Christopher Walken, awesome Pokémon.
So yeah, Peeko returned to its owner, Mister Briney, who offered me to visit him at his cottage. Considdering my poop in his toilet, I just might not take him on his offer. Fuck it, he has a boat. And I think I saw some gay men on it so it’s gotta be A-OK.
Rustburro City
Returned the stolen goods to the Researcher who in return gave me his second nut. I mean his other Great Ball. Took me to Devon afterwards where he continued to suck my nads and then proceeded to ask me to deliver a parcer. Bastard! Not like you have PERSONELL to do that, fuckwipe.
Had a talk with mister Stoned next. Musta licked a Shroomish, that one. Oh, Mister Stone … Whoops. The man’s the president of Devon Corporation and asked me to deliver a letter to his son in Dewford. SO NOW I HAVE TO GO TO TWO PLACES FOR YOU JACKHOLES? YOU ARE FUCKING MILIONAIRES AND YOU COULD PROBABLY HIRE THE LEADER OF TEAM MAGMA ITSELF TO DELIVER THAT SHIT FOR YOU. Fucking rich kids and their fucking stupidity. Dastan is fucking TEN YEARS OLD. For fucks sake! Thank god I got a pokéNAV in return. At least they don’t screw me over that big.
Leaving Rustboro, as fast as humanly possible mind you, I met May again who told me something unimportant and left me be. Good, I wasn’t in the mood to battle.
Petalburg Woods
Used Cut again to reach areas I was unable to before. Tons o fun that HM.
Route 104
Taking up Briney’s offer to take me to Dewford.
Dewford Town
Went around town to collect everything and talk to everyone. Got a nice Silk Scarf out of that little trek. Also met a guy who wanted to know what was hot and in where I was from. Here it was “weird bike” so I quickly changed that to “I came” Ha-Larity ensued. Especially in Dewford Hall, where everyone was studying I Came and wondered if there isn’t a TV show about it and how that they are going to have I Came as much as possible in their lives. Whatcha gonna do about it? I’m twelve! … Wait … I’m 22 … crap.
Going passed the town for now so I don’t have to get butchered by the gym there.
Route 106
Skipped the trainers to head in to the cave.
Granite Cave
Here’s where I picked up a very useful new addition to the team. Guys, I’d like you to meat Shaq-Fu, an Abra of level 6. Using the Old Rod I obtained at Dewford, I also fished outside the cave, in Route 106, and caught a Magikarp which I named RAINBOWS. Traded in Tatsu and Soulja Boy so I can train them up. Switch around the team so Soulja could level up as well.
Eventually FRANK WEST evolved in to a Combusken and Shaq-Fu evolved in to a Kadabra/
Dewford Town
Here I stand before the gym, ready to go inside and kick some ass, try to earn myself the right to use that Flash in that godforsaken cave. Wish me luck!
Character:
Dastan
Team:
FRANK WEST - Combusken (lvl 16)
C. Walken - Zigzagoon (lvl 16)
Wiseau - Shroomish (lvl 16)
Soulja Boy - Custos (lvl 16)
Shaq-Fu - Kadabra (lvl16)
Darkman - Poochyena (lvl 16)
Fallen Heroes:
N/A
Enough of that! Back to the game!
Route 116
Seems the researcher was standing at the edge of town, hoping to find someone to help him. After he told me that he remembered me as being that FANTASTIC trainer of before, he asked me if I wanted to help. It shows he’s a pencil pusher. Slimeball.
Of course I agreed to his request, not like I had a choice here, and went in to hot persuit. Took out all the trainers that were in my way and Darkman learned Bite as well. All was well with the world!
Taught Tatsumaru Cut and then proceeded to cut through some thick bush. Takes me back to when I had a girlfriend. Wait … what? FUCK, you did not need to know that! Sorry, honey.
I met up with a guy blocking my way in to a building. He told me that the Team Magma member had gone in to a tunnel and might cause an uproar with the pokémon there, probably causing a cave-in if that happened. Apparantly the Team Magma member is a Manchester fan and the pokémon there are Liverpool fans. TROUBLE IS ABOUT TO ENSUE.
In front of the cave is an old fart that tells me his Peeko is inside, taken by the Magma guy. Yeah, I’m really starting to dislike this guy.
Rusturf Tunnel
Caught a Whismur. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay … whooooooooo …. Yippie … ka … fuck it. Calling it Steve and let it be shipped to the computer. Bye Steve.
Following this I went deeper in the cave (That’s what she said) and fought with the Team Magma Grunt. Again with the dog! It’s time to screw the poochyena again! C. Walken … FLAWLESS VICTORY. Didn’t even hit him. Christopher Walken, awesome Pokémon.
So yeah, Peeko returned to its owner, Mister Briney, who offered me to visit him at his cottage. Considdering my poop in his toilet, I just might not take him on his offer. Fuck it, he has a boat. And I think I saw some gay men on it so it’s gotta be A-OK.
Rustburro City
Returned the stolen goods to the Researcher who in return gave me his second nut. I mean his other Great Ball. Took me to Devon afterwards where he continued to suck my nads and then proceeded to ask me to deliver a parcer. Bastard! Not like you have PERSONELL to do that, fuckwipe.
Had a talk with mister Stoned next. Musta licked a Shroomish, that one. Oh, Mister Stone … Whoops. The man’s the president of Devon Corporation and asked me to deliver a letter to his son in Dewford. SO NOW I HAVE TO GO TO TWO PLACES FOR YOU JACKHOLES? YOU ARE FUCKING MILIONAIRES AND YOU COULD PROBABLY HIRE THE LEADER OF TEAM MAGMA ITSELF TO DELIVER THAT SHIT FOR YOU. Fucking rich kids and their fucking stupidity. Dastan is fucking TEN YEARS OLD. For fucks sake! Thank god I got a pokéNAV in return. At least they don’t screw me over that big.
Leaving Rustboro, as fast as humanly possible mind you, I met May again who told me something unimportant and left me be. Good, I wasn’t in the mood to battle.
Petalburg Woods
Used Cut again to reach areas I was unable to before. Tons o fun that HM.
Route 104
Taking up Briney’s offer to take me to Dewford.
Dewford Town
Went around town to collect everything and talk to everyone. Got a nice Silk Scarf out of that little trek. Also met a guy who wanted to know what was hot and in where I was from. Here it was “weird bike” so I quickly changed that to “I came” Ha-Larity ensued. Especially in Dewford Hall, where everyone was studying I Came and wondered if there isn’t a TV show about it and how that they are going to have I Came as much as possible in their lives. Whatcha gonna do about it? I’m twelve! … Wait … I’m 22 … crap.
Going passed the town for now so I don’t have to get butchered by the gym there.
Route 106
Skipped the trainers to head in to the cave.
Granite Cave
Here’s where I picked up a very useful new addition to the team. Guys, I’d like you to meat Shaq-Fu, an Abra of level 6. Using the Old Rod I obtained at Dewford, I also fished outside the cave, in Route 106, and caught a Magikarp which I named RAINBOWS. Traded in Tatsu and Soulja Boy so I can train them up. Switch around the team so Soulja could level up as well.
Eventually FRANK WEST evolved in to a Combusken and Shaq-Fu evolved in to a Kadabra/
Dewford Town
Here I stand before the gym, ready to go inside and kick some ass, try to earn myself the right to use that Flash in that godforsaken cave. Wish me luck!
Character:
Dastan
Team:
FRANK WEST - Combusken (lvl 16)
C. Walken - Zigzagoon (lvl 16)
Wiseau - Shroomish (lvl 16)
Soulja Boy - Custos (lvl 16)
Shaq-Fu - Kadabra (lvl16)
Darkman - Poochyena (lvl 16)
Fallen Heroes:
N/A
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