There are basically three kinds of movies in the world. One kind is a kind where everything comes to together to create a movie that ranges from being good to … well, awesome. Opposite this is the kind that ranges from bad to absolute, horrendous shit on a stick. Between these two sides lies the third. These are the movies that are badly made but good or well made but bad. They are the potentials. They have the potential to be bad or they have the potential to be good but they are not quite there yet. Keep in mind that the category “so bad it’s good” falls in to the good category.
It’s this center category that is the most disappointing of all to watch. Knowing that there was so much to these movies that could have rocked is just so sad. Take for example the movie Knowing, starring Nicolas Cage. Everything from the trailer to the movie itself was great. But then the ending came along and turned it all in to a potential.
Ninja Assassin, the James McTeigue directed, 2009, martial-arts film falls in that same category.
What this movie does right is exactly what this movie needed. It’s a fast paced movie with a lot of energy, like The Fast and the Furious and Shoot ‘em up. From beginning to end you never feel like the movie is dragging along, but that is also part of the problem. More on that later.
Ninja Assassin looks like they put a lot of effort in to it, from the sets to the effects. Nothing is too overly present and nothing is too obviously absent. Well, besides one thing which I, again, will come back to later.
When it comes to the sound, this movie delivers a well enough experience to feel that it was a plus to it and not something that held it back. Same goes with the acting, which sometimes was even more than excellent. Of course not everyone was great, but that is to be expected.
No, the movie is great when it’s good. It’s the negative points that really bring this movie down to Potential levels. Most notable is the absent of plot, other than the bare minimum to provide something to move it all along. And any kind of exploration the audience has done to follow the plot and figure things out for themselves is nullified very early on when one of the leads literally shits out an exposition dump that explains everything from A to Z. Admittedly, the backstory of the main ninja of the story is interesting, but it feels SO out of place in the main plot that it gave me whiplash sometimes.
Another huge flaw is the level of violence that this movie portrays. Imagine Rambo IV … I mean, Rambo … I mean John Rambo. The fourth movie. K? Well, imagine that, only a lot dumber. Case in point, the main character, Raizo the Super Saiyan Ninja, has to fight a big guy in the bathroom a la James Bond in Casino Royale. He stabs the motherfucker in the neck and a gallon of blood squirts out. Most likely, because he is a highly skilled and trained ninja and all, a major artery was cut. The big guy survives and continues fighting. Next on the line, several stabs to vital organs. Still continues to fight. And again, gallons of blood. Let’s just say that by the end of the fight, every one of the exposed vital arteries is cut and the man fights. What kills him is not the gallons upon gallons of bloodloss, but the fact his head got smacked on a toilet. Sure, the fights are great if you can see them in the darkness, but the amount of blood is just ridiculous.
Another problem is that every ninja in this movie is Ryu from Ninja Gaiden … Ninja Gayden … Ninja Gai-DEN. That one game with the ninja in the black pajamas that jumps a lot. I can understand giving these people powers. But this is just stretching the limits of anyone’s belief. And the fact that these guys have gone unnoticed for so long is even more unbelievable.
Sometimes the movie does get so bad that it’s good, but most of the time it’s either good or really bad. Unfortunately for this movie, the really bad parts seem to dominate the field. I’d say rent this movie before you buy it, or watch it at a friend’s house.
5/10
It’s this center category that is the most disappointing of all to watch. Knowing that there was so much to these movies that could have rocked is just so sad. Take for example the movie Knowing, starring Nicolas Cage. Everything from the trailer to the movie itself was great. But then the ending came along and turned it all in to a potential.
Ninja Assassin, the James McTeigue directed, 2009, martial-arts film falls in that same category.
What this movie does right is exactly what this movie needed. It’s a fast paced movie with a lot of energy, like The Fast and the Furious and Shoot ‘em up. From beginning to end you never feel like the movie is dragging along, but that is also part of the problem. More on that later.
Ninja Assassin looks like they put a lot of effort in to it, from the sets to the effects. Nothing is too overly present and nothing is too obviously absent. Well, besides one thing which I, again, will come back to later.
When it comes to the sound, this movie delivers a well enough experience to feel that it was a plus to it and not something that held it back. Same goes with the acting, which sometimes was even more than excellent. Of course not everyone was great, but that is to be expected.
No, the movie is great when it’s good. It’s the negative points that really bring this movie down to Potential levels. Most notable is the absent of plot, other than the bare minimum to provide something to move it all along. And any kind of exploration the audience has done to follow the plot and figure things out for themselves is nullified very early on when one of the leads literally shits out an exposition dump that explains everything from A to Z. Admittedly, the backstory of the main ninja of the story is interesting, but it feels SO out of place in the main plot that it gave me whiplash sometimes.
Another huge flaw is the level of violence that this movie portrays. Imagine Rambo IV … I mean, Rambo … I mean John Rambo. The fourth movie. K? Well, imagine that, only a lot dumber. Case in point, the main character, Raizo the Super Saiyan Ninja, has to fight a big guy in the bathroom a la James Bond in Casino Royale. He stabs the motherfucker in the neck and a gallon of blood squirts out. Most likely, because he is a highly skilled and trained ninja and all, a major artery was cut. The big guy survives and continues fighting. Next on the line, several stabs to vital organs. Still continues to fight. And again, gallons of blood. Let’s just say that by the end of the fight, every one of the exposed vital arteries is cut and the man fights. What kills him is not the gallons upon gallons of bloodloss, but the fact his head got smacked on a toilet. Sure, the fights are great if you can see them in the darkness, but the amount of blood is just ridiculous.
Another problem is that every ninja in this movie is Ryu from Ninja Gaiden … Ninja Gayden … Ninja Gai-DEN. That one game with the ninja in the black pajamas that jumps a lot. I can understand giving these people powers. But this is just stretching the limits of anyone’s belief. And the fact that these guys have gone unnoticed for so long is even more unbelievable.
Sometimes the movie does get so bad that it’s good, but most of the time it’s either good or really bad. Unfortunately for this movie, the really bad parts seem to dominate the field. I’d say rent this movie before you buy it, or watch it at a friend’s house.
5/10
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