Aaaah, Splinter Cell. Ever since it was announced, I’ve been a major fan. You wouldn’t believe how hard I jizzed when I heard it was coming to the Playstation 2. The series have only vastly improved since that first game, offering us hours upon hours of entertainment. Slitting some poor saps throat as he’s pissing against the wall or shooting someone in the family jewels from the darkness, keeping all those fucks in the dark of where I am. They’re then out looking for me as their friend is lying on the ground, calling for his mommy. Or to hear Michael Ironside’s sexy voice portraying Sam Fisher, undoubtedly one of the best videogame characters ever made.
Then came Conviction.
This game blows chunks.
So, I went out to rent this game. Which was my first mistake. The game wasn't where it was supposed to be. I had to go to a completely different rack to find it. Maybe it was running from me to try and spare me from its bullshit. Trying to get to the cash register proved to be difficult as well as the line was enormous. Family with annoying and obnoxious kids included. Now, I wasn't disillusioned that it was nothing more than bad luck, but the knot in my stomach was starting to become unbearable.
Getting home, I immediately popped this sucker in and waited patiently for it to boot. Something was horribly wrong as the console started to act up and wouldn't read the disc. Taking it out, I returned it to the store. I got myself a replacement, but once again the disc wouldn’t work. I honestly don’t know what’s wrong. My Playstation 3 hasn’t failed me yet. So why is it starting now? It’s read some pretty nasty discs before and this one was sparkly clean and fresh out the box, literally.
I’m sorry, but the best I can give this game is:
0/10.
If they can’t even make the discs work, why bother?
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