Thursday, December 31, 2009

Aerith Signature

This is a signature of the videogame character Aerith, from the seventh installment in the Final Fantasy franchise.

A very simple signature that I made specially for new years. With the sound off for a whole new year, we leave behind a year and a decade filled with both sorrow as joy. Which is what I hoped to accomplish with this image. The simply and sober background with a character that symbolized joy and hope.

At any rate, have a happy New Year everyone!

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas, everyone!

From everyone over at Greyarch Entertainment (just me o.o)):

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I hope that you were showered upon with plenty of presents and a delicious, filling dinner that you're still picking from your teeth!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

WIDS: Final Fantasy X-2



Hello and welcome to: Why it doesn't suck.

People say something sucks, but I think otherwise. And I tell you about it! This is where I do it. This was the first episode of this which I made a while ago and I want to go somewhere with this. So leave your comments filled with critique and tell me what you think!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Jak and Daxter: The lost Frontier signature



This is the signature that I made for the videogame: Jak and Daxter: The lost frontier. Now, the left image of Daxter is actually from the game Daxter. But meh, right xD

Monday, December 14, 2009

Greyarch Entertainment 2k10


Am I but a mere puppet of an organization? Rented out to replace a man fallen during Halloween? Dreams of another life seep in to my mind every so often, of events that never happened to me personally. Speaking a language I have never even uttered, I lived amongst people that I have never met in a country I have never been in. Or should I say that Puddle has never been there? Yet, I am him. I am myself. I think. I don’t know, it’s all so confusing.

Here I am, certain that I am the man called Puddle Jumper. Looking and acting exactly like him, I also have his memories and feelings. Strange that, even though they do feel like my own, they still feel foreign.

Ever since that dreadful week surrounding Halloween, I have been looking up all mysterious events revolving around the monster that Screwattack’s staff had released. Apparently I am not alone. More people have been feeling like they do not belong. They too remember waking up in a facility known as The Playhouse.

After some intense hours of research, I’ve discovered that The Playhouse deals in lives and replacements, that they not only clone human beings but that they also have the ability to create lives in terms of personality and memories. They can put a whole person inside of a body or they can create a new person by cobbling together different persons. Is this what happened to me?

That settles it then. Knowing that whatever I did, Puddle Jumper had already planned, I will take on a new name and head out in to the world to discover who I truly am.

From now on, I will be known as: Bobby Doll! I will travel the world to find myself! FAREWELL!

To be continued ~

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Halloween 2k9: Playhouse Saga begins

Part One:

As previously seen on: http://tehpwnshop.wordpress.com/2009/10/12/pjs-halloweeeeeeeeeeen-2k9/ Hello and welcome to the spookiest of the my blogs to come out in 2009! This is but the first the few that will be written. Can you get passed the chills and terrors? Well then, follow me! Mhuahahahahahahahaha Halloween 2k9 Part one Aaaah, Halloween. It's become my favorite holiday over the years. Living in Belgium, I've never truly experienced Halloween myself. It's pretty much dead around here come Halloween, save for a few decorations here and there that are just abominably bad and in stores. The people could care less about it and they'd much rather wait in anticipation for Sinterklaas or Christmas. The only times I ever got in to a costume was for Carnaval. Kids in schools everywhere dressed up that day, parades were held and what not. Me? I dressed up as the White Power Ranger once (the ninja outfit from the movie), The Red Power Ranger ((both ranger costumes were made by my mother <3)) Zorro, a cowboy and a pokémon trainer. Although the pokémon trainer was just me in street clothes with a pokédex ((a working one with the original set of pokémon in it)) and a pokéball. For me Halloween started a couple of years ago. In school I had a class called P.A.V. Or Project Algemene Vakken, translated as Project General Coarses. You see, this embodies all the classes I wasn't getting at the time like history, geography, others alongside with classes I was getting but that were incorporated anyways like languages and such. The entire year was divided in to several books made by the teacher herself and she chose Halloween. It talked about its history and it also talked about a lot more. It was at that time that I truly got interested in it. And that I did something special for Halloween each year like watch a horror movie or take a risk. Around that time I was also an active member of Gaiaonline ((yes, yes, I know ... Shoot me ...)) and it was pretty big on the holidays aspect and it was no different with Halloween. I fell in love with Halloween even more because of that. Three years ago however I really got the bug with Cinemassacre's Monster Madness. My god did that get me hooked on both horror as Halloween. The entire month of October is Halloween for me and I'm loving every single minute of it. I mean, this year I'm planning to watch a few horror movies ... Which is probably it because of the lack of Halloween here ... Fucking Belgium. So, what do I have planned for Halloween of 2009? Well, I've ordered Evil Dead 2, I'm listening to the Jonas Brothers ((What?)), watching 1408 and I'm going to read Jurassic Park and I'm going to play a few scary games. Which brings me to the end of this blog because I'm saving the games aspect for parts 2 & 3. What are they? Well, Part 2 is going to be a B&B and Part 3 is going to be an LGR. See you then and happy hauntings!

Part 2:

As previously seen on: http://tehpwnshop.wordpress.com Boo and welcome to the second part of this Halloween edition of my blog! At first I was thinking of doing this very special B&B and LGR but since then I’ve found this brilliant idea that I could even stretch all the way to the christmas! Wondering what I’ve cooked up? Well, wait no more as I dive in to this thing! Halloween 2k9 Part 2 Part one: http://tehpwnshop.wordpress.com/2009/10/12/pjs-halloweeeeeeeeeeen-2k9/ Most people talk about scary games when they want to do something for Halloween. Or they talk about something scary anyways. But, why not talk about Halloween … IN … games? Enter: Halloween Town. Once there was a nightmare before Christmas. It was a wonderful nightmare of beautiful songs, great animation and a horrific story. The nightmare introduced us to the undeniable lord of Halloween: The Pumpkin King Jack Skellington! Two people have worked together to create this nightmare that, when put together, always manage to produce unbelievable things that will be remembered by those who watched it for their entire lives. Then came something that nobody had ever expected. Another collaboration that not even Nostradamus could have predicted. What if one of the lead companies in RPG’s teamed together with the company of our childhoods? Squaresoft was known for its Final Fantasy series. RPG videogames about a fantastic world in grave danger. Disney had created movies and stories that every child in the western world has seen. Boys wished they were the heroes of these tales whilst the girls always thought of the girls of Disney movies when they thought about the princess’s that they wished to be. These two companies were as far apart as the Teletubbies and Saw, yet the masterminds of Kingdom Hearts managed to blend them in to one. You play as Sora, an original character who is accompanied by Disney icons Donald Duck and Goofy. Using the keyblade that has chosen him as its wielder, Sora travels from world to world to close the keyholes there that can be used to go in to the heart of that world. He is doing so because there are vile creatures out there known as the Heartless, a manifestation of darkness that has consumed the heart. Apparently nearing the end of his adventure, Sora comes across a world that has transformed him in to a monstrous being. Donald and Goofy are affected as well. Where could they be? Welcome to Halloween Town! Instead of making this a full recap of the world, I’ll just write what I thought about it. This to not spoil it if you haven’t played it yet. This is definitely one of my favorite worlds in the game. Based off of one of my favorite childhood movies, Halloween Town does a pretty good job of translating it to the game. The makers of the game understood that Jack Skellington is the Santa Clause of Halloween. That he wants to scare the little kids because they want to be scared. Truth be told, we were all just the same. We wanted to be scared shitless back then. There’s nothing like the sensation of being frightened. Willingly we put ourselves through the scariest things. The story of Halloween Town fits the movie quite well, as Jack and the professor are trying to find attraction for this Halloween. The only regret I have about this world is that the songs are absent. Luckily we still have all the epic environments and the characters to interact with. Now, there’s another side of Halloween that’s a big part of the entire event. Enter: Bully/Canis Canem Edit. There’s nothing like a little controversy to boost the sales of your game, am I right or am I right? I thought so! Rockstar games is well known to be the champion of controversy as their games as usually packed with things unimaginable for parents and white knights in politics. Most known is Grand Theft Auto. I really don’t have to go deeper in to this subject because even your great grandmother knows of this game and how ungodly it is according to the most reliable source in the world, Fox News. Nothing could have prepared the world for one of their other projects however: Bully. The name alone has to be reason enough to raise an eyebrow with parents everywhere, but the combination of Bully and Rockstar had to have pissing in their pants. And, once more details were revealed, they grabbed their forks and torches and gathered up a large mob to go and crucify everyone involved. What’s the big deal about this game you ask? Allow me to explain. For you see, in this game you play as Jimmy Hopkins, a troubled young boy who is sent off to Bullworth Academy after he was kicked off of his umpteenth school. Being the troubled youth that he is, Jimmy can do a lot of things. Like, for instance, put kids in lockers, dunk their heads in the toilet, give them a wedgie, knock them out, sexually harass the girls, get a nerd to pee his pants and a lot more delightful things. The game is split up in to several chapters, each one spanning a single season. The beginning of the game is of course the season to be frightful as Halloween is coming! You can see Halloween coming as well because the more story missions that you do, the more the weather changes and more decorations are added to the environment. From pumpkins to lights, the school has it all on Halloween night! Unlike Halloween Town, there’s nothing scary about this night. Besides Gary of course … This is Halloween as it is today. Everyone gets dressed up. You see skeletons, cops, a bunny, princesses and more. You can spend as much time as you please on this night as the clock is gone and time doesn’t pass. You can do whatever you want in this colorful environment as long as you don’t finish up all the tasks. These are quite fun though. You need to do everything from putting up kick me signs on people’s backs, egging people, throwing itching powder on them, stink bombs and even blowing them away with some heavy duty fireworks. Simply put, it’s just loads of fun. Probably my most favorite thing about the entire game. After these assignments comes the big prank. This is quite lulzy to do. I wouldn’t recommend skipping it because it’s a blast to do. Halloween Town embodies the spirit of Halloween, Bully goes for the fun of Halloween and if you combine these two games with a horror game, you have the perfect Halloween experience. Halloween is the best holiday of them all. It’s got a rich history and a bright future. You will be scared and entertained. The entire month of October isn’t just about Rock, as everyone gets in the right mood for Halloween. If you’re reading this before Halloween, I hope you have a nice Fright. If you’re reading it afterwards, I hope that this was a nice closer for your Halloween experience. This has been Puddle Jumper with my Halloween blogs. I’ll see you later! But you might not see me MHUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

SCREWATTACK'S HALLOWEEN CLIP OF THE WEEK

There was a Clip of the week over at Screwattack.com that involved the crew being attacked by an unknown monster of the sorts. This caused the community to go nuts and start making blogs and videos themselves. I myself found it to be the perfect way to begin a little something I like to call: The Playhouse Saga. Enjoy:

WELL, F YOU TO SCREWATTACK

You know, I wrote that halloween blog with a lot of love for the community here and at Teh Pwn Shop and I get bumped off of the first page in less than an hour. That's just plain retarded people. I've been a member of this community for a lot of years now and time and time again I get pushed aside for some half decent fuckup that can't even write or makes videos far worse than mine. What's even worse is what I get bumped off for. For fucks sake people. It's just a goddamn video. IT'S A CLIP OF THE WEEK. It's fake, you asshats. I fucking hate you all so much right now it's not even healthy. Well, FUCK YOU TOO. Seriously guys, I really wanted to ... wow, that's some serious thunder out there. But seriously, this is the last straw. Getting bumped off this ... JEZUS, that was so close... It's just not worth it guys. This is my last blog here. I'll see you all NEVER ... assholes. It's thundering like mad here th ... Call an ambulance! FUCK! GOD DAMNIT! ARG, There's a chair leg sticking out of my chest. Tell them to hurry! PLEASE! And then RUN! RUN FOR IT! It's real! I'm ... so ... sorry ... sorrrrrryyyyyyy .................................... -------------------AUTO POSTING MESSAGE----------------- -------------------ADDING MEDIC REPORT---------------- Arriving at the scene we discover that the apartment building was the only one targeted by the monster. If rumors are to be believed, a screwattack.com g1 lived in that house. Though that is still unconfirmed. Knocking on the door was fruitless. Following this we hailed a police officer who arrived at the scene shortly to open up the door for us. Entering the apartment it was already clear to us. We wouldn't find anyone alive. The entire living room was demolished, with blood splattered all over the walls. My partner noticed brain matter sticking against the wall next to the computer, which was covered in blood and guts, and the police officer informed me to look up. I still can't believe what I saw. As a medic I've seen a lot of strange stuff. Foreign objects lodged in odd places, arrows that went clean through a man's head without causing damage ... but this ... The man seemed to have been impaled by a chair leg which was then rammed in to the ceiling. I don't know how he kept hanging up there for so long, but from the moment we noticed him, he dropped down on to the ground so that we could see his front side. It was ... Horrible. Consider this my resignation.

MEDIC'S BLOG 5487/78

Following the events over at the home of the late mister Jumper, I checked my e-mails to see that my report was automatically added to his blog. With this I also managed to gain access to his account, curious as to what exactly was going on. I never expected to feel at home over here at Screwattack.com, but this community has made me feel as such quite rapidly. Unfortunately, the more I felt at home, the more I felt like a g1. Now ... it's too late for me. I can already feel the monster at my home. It must have unimaginable powers if it can travel around the world at such incredible speed. So many lives have already been lost and now I'm afraid that I am next. I don't want to die! I'm still to young! Nobody should die before their time. Now that I have finally found the love of my life, I can't tell him how I feel. He will never know that I want to spend the rest of my life with him! Damn it. I can sense that it's close by. That same feeling. It's strange. I thought that I felt death crawl down my spine in Puddle Jumper's apartment. But now I know that it was that monster. That it was still there, watching me. It must have known somehow what was going to happen. It will not claim my life! That is something that I still wish to control for myself. So, to expedite the matter, I have swallowed down my entire supply of medication. It's effects have already started to kick in as I type this. I can barely keep my fingers typing. One thing I know for sure. When that thing comes for me, I will stare it in the eyes and laugh at its failure. Farewell

HALLOWEEN RECAP:

Hello and welcome to a little recap of the Halloween that I have experienced. First of all, let's talk about others first. Halloween started for me with the Monster Madness series hosted at Cinemassacre.com http://www.cinemassacre.com/new/?page_id=1373 Then over the month I was bombarded with a lot of Halloween blogs and videos from all sorts of people. Here at Screwattack I only have one blog to share with you that really freaked me out. http://screwattack.com/node/31437 That picture alone was enough to send chills down my spine. Thanks for that, Super Munkky. Ya creep :P For the rest I also enjoyed the AVGN episodes that appeared on Gametrailers.com http://www.gametrailers.com/screwattack And I also had a few shits and giggles with the special by The Spoony One http://www.spoonyexperiment.com/2009/10/30/fmv-hell-halloween-special-bloodwings-pumpkinheads-revenge/ Me? What did I do? Why thank you for asking, good sir or madam. I wrote this little gem for that one website on which I am an author of and that you should totally check out http://tehpwnshop.wordpress.com/2009/10/12/pjs-halloweeeeeeeeeeen-2k9/ http://tehpwnshop.wordpress.com/ Everything was quite normal up to that point. Of course, it was the beginning of the month. But still. It wasn't until Halloween that things started to get really weird. I still remember a few things from that night. First of all, I uploaded my second Halloween blog here. http://screwattack.com/node/31400 It was rather ignored because of the event that followed one of Screwattack's videos, the clip of the week. http://screwattack.com/node/31313 Poor Destin. He had no idea what was going on. http://screwattack.com/node/31324 http://screwattack.com/node/31344 That ... monster ... It didn't just stop with the Screwattack HQ. It seemed to travel all across the world and kill off g1's. Which is something I didn't even know until this morning. I don't remember any of it! With no idea what exactly was going on, I went out to investigate. One thing was confirmed. In the back of my mind I did have vague memories of writing another blog. http://screwattack.com/node/31414 But in that blog ... I died! How can that be? I'm still here. So how could I have died? Apparantly, after my supposed death, the medic that found me took over my account to find out what was going on for herself. http://screwattack.com/node/31435 Official reports claim that the monster didn't come to her house. That she took her own life because she was depressed. I don't know what to think anymore. The monster hasn't reared its ugly head anymore. Nobody has seen it, nobody has survived. Nobody but me ... or did I? I remember waking up this morning in some sort of a facility. I was being scanned by this odd machine and I asked the man if I had fallen asleep. He said that I have and I didn't think too much of it. Saying that I was free to go, I did just that. As I was walking out, I overheard someone talking about Playhouse and dolls. No idea what they were talking about. I just wanted to get home. So, at home I discovered all of what I had written and I couldn't help but research this playhouse. What I came up with was unimaginable. They seem to deal in programmable human beings. What does this mean? Am I Puddle Jumper, or am I someone else? I think I'm him ... me ... I don't know. When I look in the mirror I still see myself. Or am I just programmed to see that?! SOMEBODY TELL ME! One thing is for sure. Even if it will take me till Christmas, I will figure this out.

ATTN: Readers

Check back on the fourteenth to see the Playhouse Saga continue!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Assassin's Creed II review

Desmond Miles, the unwilling hero of the first Assassin’s Creed installment, returns in this sequel to show us the story of Ezio Auditore de Firenze. Is the Creed of the assassins as strong as it ever was or is it starting to grow a little stale? Find out here in my review for Assassin’s Creed II!

Teh Pwn Shop presents

A Greyarch Entertainment review of:

Assassin’s Creed II

We begin this fantastic tale where the first game ended. After a few revelations in the first few scenes, we find ourselves in a whole new location with a few new people. They introduce Desmond Miles to the Animus 2.0, an improved version of the machine that allows people to relive past lives. It’s most notable feature is that people can stay in the machine longer.
Enjoy these first scenes folks because that’s all the Desmond you’re going to get for quite a while. Needing to be trained in the ways of the assassin, they send him back to one of his ancestors in Italy. His name is Ezio Auditore de Firenze, son of Giovani Auditore, star of the live action prequel movie of the game: Assassin’s Creed Lineage. We follow him through a decade of his life as he embarks on a journey of revenge. Wanting the people that killed his father and brothers dead, Ezio finds himself being pulled deeper and deeper in to a conspiracy that stretches its branches far and wide. Though it’s quite ridiculous to see Ezio thrust some people from the word: “hi”, it’s still a story that keeps you sucked in to the game at all times.
The already infamous scene involving Uncle Mario is but one of the many humoristic events in the story. Some might come at you from left field, whilst others are a tad more obvious. Still, it’s a welcome addition to a story that has so many dark, sad and plot twisting moments.
Besides the main story arch, you also get a few other ones to discover. Scattered throughout the cities are pages of a Codex, which belong to a journal written by Altaïr after the events of the first Assassin’s Creed. Some of these pages contain nothing more than pictures, but most of them have several paragraphs to plow through.
For all you historical nuts, there’s also a database that has a lot of information on all the people you meet and places you discover.

Which brings us to the world itself. Information about these places is all fine and dandy but how does it all look. Abso-fucking-lutely amazing.
The outside plains of Italy are barren for the most part, with a few towns and landmarks scattered about where you can collect a viewpoint or treasures. There’s not much there that is remotely interesting, besides a few locations like a monastery or historical ruins.
Now, it’s the cities themselves that are the main draw for this game, as expected. On the ground level, the cities are very details and beautiful. In a lot of games you can figure out where you are quite easily because a lot looks the same with a few landmarks in place to help you. Not here though. Not at all. There’s so much variety and detail that it’s easy to just get lost and roam about the city, gently pushing people aside to not let anything hinder you in admiring the view from down below. As the game is built with parcours in mind, all of the buildings have objects on which you climb such as banisters, windowsills, bars in front of the windows, bricks in the wall, beams on the rooftops and … ladders, though I barely use them. Ladders are for pussies, you see.
What really made my jaw drop on the floor, costing me a few hundred bucks for the dent it left, were the major buildings across the cities. Though liberties were taken with the rest of the city, these buildings are as accurate as it gets. Climbing them in the game or in real life would be the exact same experience. They are that well done. Combining the city’s regular streets and buildings with these landmarks, you have an experience that’s as close as a replacement to actually traveling to these cities as its going to get.
As far as the characters go, some are very well done whilst others are a bit dodgy. You’d think that this only goes for minor characters, but a member of the Auditore family itself looks really, really off. Scarily even. Clothingwise however, it’s all good. Some things are astounding whilst others are plain and simply, but believably simple.
As with the rest of the world, Italy knows a night and day. The environment is very beautiful by day. But the night is sometimes to dark and you will not be able to enjoy as much of it as you wanted to.
The effects of the Animus were a bit disruptive at first but once you got over it, you barely notice it and just focus on the wondrous Italy that slowly opens up all it has to offer as you progress through the story. Although I really started to hate Venice after like twenty minutes. Here’s how it went: I ran, I jumped, “Ffffuuuuuuuuu- water!”, I splashed. I ran, I jumped, “ffffuuuuuuuuuuuu- water!”, I splashed. Fuck it, I’m walking. I ran, I turned around the corner, “Ffffuuuuuuuuuu- water!”, I splashed.

Jesper Kyd once again returns to helm a 30-piece string ensemble and 13-person choir at Capitol Records in to recording compositions which he created for the game. Though Genesis from Justice isn’t quite in the game, there’s still a tune in there with a little hint of the song. Because let’s face it, the trailers for Assassin’s Creed II blew our collective socks off with that song.
As with most games of the current generations, voice acting is present. With unbelievable talents behind the modern setting such as Nolan North and Kirsten Bell, the voice actors for the characters in the past are up to snuff as well. Some have said that English doesn’t do the game justice and that Italian voices are the way to go, but the English voice actors do their very, very best and deliver a great performance. And besides, Mario’s joke would have been lost to those who use a different language setting.
The rest of the sounds are quite adequate and sublime even. From the swords to the footsteps, it’s all good. However, I did find an annoying glitch that really annoyed the piss out of me. Because I use a headphone when playing games, I presume that I moved it around too much when the sound is dampened and that I just need to secure it again. So when the horse’s sounds suddenly become muffled, I start widgeting around with my headphone with no luck fixing it. At long last I realized that its only the horse that’s muffled. Not sound related, but the horse tended to warp from one spot to the next if it gets stuck following Ezio on foot.

Before I get to the gameplay, I have to talk about everything that you can do in this game. As previously mentioned, there are a lot of landmarks in this game. Many of these landmarks have glyphs on them, which, when scanned, open up a puzzle for you to solve. Once all glyph’s have been found and solved, you have all the pieces of the video called: The Truth, of which a piece is given to you each time you solve one. This isn’t quite as easy as it sounds though. As you progress, you’ll encounter the most difficult puzzles that you have ever encountered. Because not only do you have to be intelligent, but you also have to guess as to what the puzzle wants you to do. Like for instance, one where you have to turn a wheel to match up numbers with symbols. You do this by finding a symbol and a number in the puzzle. But what is a symbol and what’s just part of the pictures. What’s a number and what’s a letter? Was that a one or an L? I don’t know it’s too small!
Many of these landmarks also serve as viewpoints. Other viewpoints are around as well, often found on top of towers or larger buildings. Viewpoints are needed to clear out the white spaces on the map. Each viewpoint opens up a section of the map which in turn reveals locations of interest like shops and others.
Two of these locations of interest are Assassin’s Tombs, which are regular old dungeons that you need to plow through for a nice reward in the end. And the other are the Codex Pages I mentioned before.
So now you already have to collect Glyphs, viewpoints, tombs and codex pages. But that’s not all my friend. Oh no, there’s one more thing that needs collecting. One hundred feathers are scattered around the entire world that you need to collect as well. Not just for a trophy, but for in game items as well. These however, aren’t shown on the map. And believe you me, even though you can check how many are left per district, sometimes you only get to know that you have one feather left in an entire city with the surrounding farmland and ruins. Oh yes, there will be searching.
Besides all of this collecting, there’s one more thing to add to the to-do-list. And these are the side missions. You can do assassination quests, messenger quests, races and beat up quests where you have to beat the living snot out of an adulterous husband. Some of these side missions are easy, some are not. It all depends on the requirements like a time limit or if you can be seen or not. It’s quite fun though to do it as spectacular as possible, using many of the gameplay elements to deliver an assassinations that would be mentioned in the history books if it had happened that way.

Now let’s get on to the final part of this review, the gameplay.

First of all, let’s talk about the one thing that brings my piss to a boil in a lot of games, the camera. And yes, it hurts like living hell. What did you expect, my piss is boiling. The camera is not very helpful in close quarter situations. Like for instance, inside one of the Assassin’s Tombs you will more than likely have to make your way through close quarters. Or you will find yourself close to a roof and walls but the point is, sometimes the camera either locks itself in a certain position when it’s where you can actually leap towards the next part of the parcours or it can’t be moved to where you want it to be. Of course, aiming and jumping is like trying to drive straight when you’ve got more alcohol in your veins than blood if you’re not jumping straight backwards. I mean, come on. It’s that typical thing where you need to think about what the game wants you to do. Does it want you to jump in the direction that the character has to jump or does it want you to steer to where the character is going to jump according to the camera.
This only happens on rare occasions but it’s still quite annoying when it happens.
It’s been mentioned a few times now so let’s get on to the parcours. Easy enough, all you have to do is press two buttons. The run button and the legs button (more on that after this) will do all the work for you. If you only press the legs button, you’ll be slow as hell so I advice against it.
There are four buttons on my PS3 controller that have shapes on them. You have triangle, square, circle and cross. The top button is the triangle button. It acts as the head button. You can go in to eagle vision mode with it and you can head but someone. The square and circle buttons are for your arms and the cross is for your legs.
This rag doll system makes combat very easy. As you will quickly associate the location of the button with Ezio’s anatomy. It makes for an easier adjustment. So now that we’re at the combat, let’s look in to that shall we.
Starting with unarmed combat, you can either go in to a fist fight or unarm an armed NPC. After you either draw or obtain a weapon, all you need to do is wait for your opponent to strike and simply counter that attack. There’s a lot of cool looking animations to go with that. But it’s not all you can do. You can also throw sand in their face, sweep their legs with a spear, use a smoke grenade or attack without countering.
Stealth is where all the fun is at though. Which is where it’s supposed to be, Ezio being an assassin and all. As you unlock Codex pages through the story, you can have Leonardo Da Vince decipher them and give you new toys to play with like a dual hidden blade, poisonous hidden blade and a pistol attachment for your hidden blade. The origins of these items is quite intriguing though. As, let’s say the pistol, is already way ahead of its time for Ezio, the origins make it even more intriguing.
And yes, I did say Leonardo Da Vince. And truth be told, if there’s any reason for you to buy or rent this game, this is it. As a gamer I have commanded armies, conquered worlds, found lost treasures and exploded mythological locations but meeting Leonardo Da Vinci is definitely something I’ll remember for a very, very long time.
Now, many have said that the combat is still repetitive and that the A.I. is pants on head retarded. But I don’t think that’s the case. The enemy NPC’s are quite skilled swordsmen if you think about it. They wait out for an opening and then strike. They don’t just go and attack hoping for the best, but they actually use strategy. Which is something most people tend to forget.
One final thing about gameplay involves the notoriety system. Where every one of your illegal or impressive actions will cause its gauge to fill up. Once it’s filled up, you go from anonymous to notorious, where the guards will attack you from practically the moment they see you. To empty this meter, you need to either tear down posters or bribe a city clerk.

To further aid Desmond in his adventure, Ezio has access to different shops where he can repair his armor or buy things to make it easier for him to do his thing. There’s a tailor where you can buy pouches and knife belt upgrade. You can also dye your clothes there. There’s a blacksmith where you can buy armor, weapons, ammunitions and repairs for your armor. There’s also a medic that can not only heal you, but who also sells medicine vials and poison.
And finally you have the art salesman where you can buy maps to find treasures in a certain location or paintings for your villa. Did I forget to mention that there’s also treasure chests to collect? I did? Oh, well, there’s just so much to do in this game! A man can easily forget right! Like how Uncle Mario looks like. But who can forget that It’s a him! Mario! (You had to know I’d work this in somewhere …)

Once again mentioned before, let’s talk about the Villa of your dear uncle Mario. The villa and the surrounding town are all yours to refurbish and expand. The more people live in the town, the more taxes you receive and the more money you get.
Through the shops and side missions, you will obtain weapons and armor that add to the city’s value. And of course the beautiful paintings collected at the art shop. Every feather and Codex page you collect and bring there has that effect as well.
Mainly though, restoring the city’s hot spots like the thieves guild and the whorehouse alongside with leveling up the shops will get you enough money eventually to buy the Vatican.

As for going from city to city, you have transportation. Horses are used for traveling from city to city but once you get there, you can use a fast travel option that zips you right to another fast travel shop in another town. Then there are mission specific vehicles like Da Vinci’s wings, a chariot and a boat. The first two you get to control yourself but the boat is like the fast travel option.
Lastly, to traverse the waters by yourself you can use gondolas at your disposal. Just don’t jump on them when you’re escorting someone or they’ll jump out like the good NPC’s they are.

Final notes:

To answer that question I asked in the beginning: Yes, the Creed is just as strong as ever. Two years is a long time and that time was spent well.
The story is deep and complex, far more fleshed out than in the first game. Visually this game is equally as impressive as the first game, even more so with the most beautiful Italy as our host this time. The music is so good that it makes your ears orgasm and the gameplay is quite intuitive once you have it in your fingers. Adding the villa to the mix was a good idea as well, but it’s like with other games. It’s easy to get rich fast. Newer gamers should avoid it though.
Clocking in under: “Ohmygodwhatthefuck look at the time” hours, this game has earned every single penny. Especially if you’re a pack rat like me and want to collect every single item in the game.
Now, if you’re a fan of the original you’ve already bought this game or are saving up to buy it. If you’re not a big fan, here’s my recommendation:

Rent it!

This game might not be your cup of tea. Plowing through the main campaign is always a good experience but this can easily be done over a weekend.

This has been Puddle Jumper with a review of Assassin’s Creed II, available on the PC, Xbox 360 and the Playstation 3.