Thursday, September 23, 2010

DMC: A Ninja Theory Article follow up

http://screwattack.com/blogs/Greyarch-Entertainment/DMC-a-Ninja-Theory-Article

I realized I may have focused too much on the character without going in to as much detail with the rest, perhaps even confusing some people. So here's a few clarifications:

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

DMC: a Ninja Theory Article

DMC, a Ninja Theory article


Right, let’s start off with the beginning here. Devil May Cry was first released in 2001. Made by the people behind the great series known as Resident Evil and Dino Crisis, Devil May Cry turned out to be something completely new. What started off as another Resident Evil sequel, ended being a whole new series that now featured a Hack & Slash style gameplay featuring a fantastic leading man known as Dante, who was badassery incarnated. He was accompanied by great gameplay, awesome music and a nice enough world.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

PJ's Ruby Nuzlocke Run #6

Unfortunately this is the last part of the Ruby run for now, as I've started a FireRed run instead. I just bought FireRed and I couldn't wait. So sue me.
PJ’s Nuzlocke Adventure
Chapter Six

Dewford Gym

Pitch Black? Fuck noooooooooooo, I don’t wanna run in to Vin Diesel! Meh, was gonna fight everyone anyways. Makes people harder to find though. I GET IT, hiding like little bitches! HAHAHA, I would too if I saw myself coming.

That’s what she said.

Friday, September 17, 2010

PJ's Ruby Nuzlocke Run #5

Chronicles of Nuzlocke
Chapter Five

Consider this: If you’re pokémon are dead after they faint, doesn’t that mean that all other pokémon should be considered dead as well? Think about it. You’re commiting mass murder here by having innocent creatures duke it out to their death. I just killed two innocent pokémon and I got a badge for it, but after I brutally slayed dozens of pokémon to make my pokémon stronger.

Enough of that! Back to the game!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

PJ's Ruby Nuzlocke Run #4


Chronicles of Nuzlocke
Chapter Four

Playing through this, Nuzlocke style, made me realize just how much the old ways are branded in to my brain. I keep putting my pokémon at risk only to realize in the nick of time that I need to peddle back before I lose them. If I’m going to make this a successful run, I need to get my act together. And fast. Managed to keep my pokémon faint free for now, though. Here’s to hoping I keep up that trend.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

PJ's Ruby Nuzlocke Run #3

Chronicles of Nuzlocke
Chapter 3

Route 102

Ah, my first ever trainer battle. This oughta be good. I’m pitted against a youngster named Calvin, WHOT AN EDGY HIPSTER, who unleashes the mighty lvl 5 Zigzagoon. This sounds like a job for … C. Walken! Letting loose my mighty Walken, I hammered the fool with a head but, only being mildly annoyed at his retaliation. One tackle later and Calvin’s Zigzagoon was no more, winning the fight in the process! I is winnar!
Following this were a few other trainers that all tried their best to defeat me, but C. Walken hung in there and won all battles, without me having to use a single potion. In the meantime he was picking up items left and right like ultra balls, rare candy and stuff like that.

Petalburg City

Quickly enough I go in to Petalburg, home of Norman the gym leader and Dastan’s father. First person I meet is a woman who is looking for someone named Wall-E. I was like: Wot? But hey, whatcha gonna do? THE FUTURE IS NOW, YO!
Anyways, I went to the pokémon center to fix em up when I come across someone wanting to give him my profile or something. So, with the limited options available to me, I go with: “I Am A Smooth Machine“. Not even a chuckle out of him, never mind a That’s what she said. Douche.

Wanting to grab the next pokémon before I handle things at Petalburg, I come across this assclown that refuses to let me pass. He keeps taking me to the gym, saying I need to go inside. Bitch, fine. I go in, meet daddy dearest, help Wall-E catch a Ralts and be on my merry way. FUCK, why does he get a Ralts?! It’s not fair! That’s one powerful pokémon! Shit, son.

TIME TO MOVE ON! Finally. At least that one guy is gone now. Him and his stupid sending people to the gym fetish.

Route 104

First thing I did was go in to the grass. There was this one guy who was really panicky. He kept shouting: STAY OUT OF THE TALL GRASS! Dunno what fo … OH SHI-
A wild lvl 5 Wurmple appeared! This is it! Let’s rock! One short battle later, Wurmple was in my possession. Time to name this worm! And so, Soulja Boy joined the party.

Considering he’s only level 5, I went back to Route 102 and train Wurmple up to the level of my other pokémon. Turns out I shouldn’t have been watching The A-Team on TV whilst I trained. At one point I encountered a Seedot that used Bide on me. When I looked back at the screen, Seedot unleashed his energy and sent my Soulja Boy back. I almost thought he was gonna faint! Thank the lord that it stopped at 1 HP, just enough for me to finish this puppy off.

It didn’t take me too long to have him evolve in to a Cascoon and then in to a Dustox. Should have seen it coming. Soulja Boy would never turn in to something Beautiful. Let alone a Beautifly. Still, Dustox learned confusion! Guess that Ralts isn’t needed anymore. Shit just got real!

Ahwell, time to grind my pokémon to the same level so I at least have a fighting chance onwards.

Character: Dastan

Team:
FRANK WEST - Torchic (lvl 12)
Darkman - Poochyena (lvl 12)
C. Walken - Zigzagoon (lvl 12)
Soulja Boy - Dustox (lvl 12)

Fallen Heroes:
N/A

Monday, September 13, 2010

PJ's Ruby Nuzlocke Run #2

Chronicles of Nuzlocke
Chapter Two

So, what exactly is a Nuzlocke run? Well, at one point there was a guy who decided to lay down some rules for his next run of Pokémon Ruby. These rules were the following:

1) If a pokémon faints, consider it dead and release it as fast as possible.
2) You can only catch the first pokémon you encounted on each route/cave/sea/river/… If you don’t catch it, tough shit.
3) Nickname all pokémon.

After that he decided to document these travels and put them in a comic, in which there was a pokémon he gave the face of Locke, from LOST. Enter NuzleafLocke, AKA Nuzlocke.

A lot of people over at Screwattack have been doing this and it has inspired me to do the same. As you may have guessed by now, I’m using Pokémon Ruby and I’m going with a male character named Dastan.
Now, I’m not going to writing this entire thing like I am Dastan. And I do realize that it’s Professor Burke, and not Professor Elm. But in the end, what’s the fucking difference?
With that said, let’s carry on where I left the game.

Quickly I found myself engaged in battle because I wanted to level up FRANK WEST so I wouldn’t get creamed by that cheating bitch that has the pokémon FRANK is weakest against. When I saw that FRANK WEST was nearing 0 HP at one point, I literally shat myself. Luckily I had picked up that potion from the computer at Dastan’s home, otherwise I would have had to restart!
Anyways, I make my way onwards, coming across Sherlock D’Ohlmes there DRAWING FOOTSTEPS OF A BRAND NEW POKEMON. Then I fight Oak’s daughter May, slapping her mudkip across the room and back, sighing of relief that I was still in the game!
I go back home, get the pokédex from the world famous professor who needs me to fill out the pokédex for him even though he is supposed to be a fucking expert, get some balls, get the running shoes from Mom and head on out in to the world!

Pick up a Poochyena on that first route and named it Alyx, after that chick from Half Life 2. Beyond Oldale Town, where I battled May, I picked up another Poochyena and I called it Darkman, after the character from that classic movie by Sam Raimi. After storing Alyx in the computer, I went in the first area of the next route to catch myself a Zigzagoon which I named C. Walken.
With the team in place I started training my balls off to get these three up to snuff. I seriously don’t want to lose any of them. Unfortunately, I kept on getting hit with crits and I almost lost em at some points. My awesome skills however prevented this from happening.

So, here I am, about to head in to the first route with trainers. Help.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

PJ's Ruby Nuzlocke Run #1

PJ’s Chronicles of Nuzlocke: Pokémon Ruby
Chapter One

The world of pokémon is a large and beautiful world filled with several regions that each have their own feel and pokémon. My adventures take me to the region of Hoenn where I was greeted by my mother who had traveled to our new home before me. I got stuck in the back of the mover’s van like some little bitch. Fuck that. So when the truck stopped, I got out and praised the lord, Bob, that I was out.
I’m Dastan, kid to the Petalburg City gym leader and all around awesome kid. I had this weirdest phonecall with the professor of Littleroot town before I arrived at my new home. One I’ll never forget. So the dude picks up, introduces himself and then asks: ARE YOU A BOY … OR A GIRL? I was like: Fuck you, asshole.

Anyways, mom shows me around, I set my clock and go out in to the new world! Eventually I find Professor Elm being molested by some Pooch, so I just grabbed one of his balls and tossed out Torchic. Elm gave me that pokémon! So I named it: FRANK WEST. The man then wants me to find his daughter up beyond Oldale Town. Yeah, this oughta be good.

Player: Dastan

Pokémon:
- FRANK WEST - Level 5 Torchic.

Fallen Heroes:
N/A

Saturday, September 11, 2010

tHop - Priest

Graphic novel adaptation seem to be all the rage these days. 300, V for Vendetta and Watchmen are three perfect examples of this trend. Whilst they all received mixed reviews, one has to admit that they keep up with the style of comic-book movies in the sense of not sucking balls, like videogame adaptation (Prince of Persia being the one and only exception).
Here we have yet another adaptation that wants to take a stab at it. Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s time to Hop a trailer for the movie: Priest.


tHop - Priest
http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=69665

Set one hundred years in the future, after the war between Christians and Satanists, a Christian warrior priest disobeys church law when he teams up with a young sheriff and a priestess. The man did so because a cult of vampire outlaws led by a former Christian, now Satanist, named Black Hat. They kidnapped the Priest’s niece and now he must save her before they brainwash her.

It’s a fairly standard story set in a world that reminded me of the Judge Dredd adaptation. They live in a city and outside there’s a wasteland. Although in the movie it’s more Modern Age City and Wild West Wasteland. Everything else reminded me a lot of Judge Dredd as well, besides the vampires that reminded me of the vampires in I Am Legend (THE HELL ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE, FRED?).
I am really hoping that this movie’s story is more than just this because from what we could see in the trailer, it has some pretty solid action in it.

But what’s a movie without actors, eh? Let’s sum them up:

Paul Bettany (Charles from A Beautiful Mind and Silas from The Da Vinci Code) as Priest
Cam Gigandet (Volchok from The O.C. and … OMG! JAMES FROM TWILIGHT! NO WAI!) as Hicks
Maggie Q (If you don’t know her, shame on you!) as Priestess
Karl Urban (Same as Maggie Q) as Black Hat
Christopher Plummer (General Chang from Star Trek and various other great movies) as Monsignor Orelas
Brad Dourif (Sheriff Lee Bracket from the Halloween remakes and Reed from the GUN videogame) as a salesman

HEY MOVIE, DRYING OUT ARE WE?

Alan Dale … FUCK YAH! (Charles Widmore from Lost, Bradford Meade from Ugly Betty, etc)  as Monsignor Chamberlain

The movie is Directed by Scott Stewart, the man who brought us Legion … Right …

Okay, as you can probably guess, it’s not exactly a star studded spectacle, but what this movie does have is a lot of talent and a lot of potential. It’s definitely on my radar and I advice everyone to put it on there as well.

Friday, September 10, 2010

tHop - Devil

OH MY GOD, A TRAILER! At long last a trailer! It’s been way to long! Let’s see … From the mind of M. Night … Fuck … Let’s read the synopsis.
“Devil is a supernatural thriller with M. Night Shyamalan’s signature touch.”
Ugh … roll the trailer!


tHop - Devil
http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/universal/devil/

The movie centers around a group of people that find themselves inside an elevator. At one point in its ride, the elevator comes to a halt and the people are stuck. The lights flicker and the elevator is darkened for a few moments, in which, the token woman gets cut by a sharp object. It would appear that someone in the elevator isn’t who they say they are.
What starts out to be a pretty cool concept, quickly turns in to a supernatural feast as the devil might be truly be involved in this case. Weird images appear on the security monitor and shit seems to be happening that shouldn’t be happening.

I have to admit that this does sound like a fairly good concept. Mind you, it would have been better without the supernatural crap. But, it’s Shyamalan movie after all so we can definitely expect for it to be different. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if it all turned out to be a partner of the one in the elevator who’s doing the weird shit like the monitors. Or it’s all a dream. Something like that anyways.

Luckily Shyamalan isn’t sitting on the director’s seat and we get another guy that might actually know how to turn Shyamalan’s madness around. Not only that, but the writer is Brian Nelson, and not Shyamalan.
So what we get here is a Shyamalan movie with a different director and a diferent writer? I’m game!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

100th blog celebration!

Currently I have around 6 blogs on hold for Teh Pwn Shop so ... yeah ... also, no trailers ... at all ... so no tHop. I has a sad. Sorry bout that.

To celebrate my 100th blog here on Blogger, I decided to hold one big c****s****** party so hold on to your horses because here are some links:

www.debasedtothis.org - A fun website with a lot of cool people on the main site and in the forums. Sublime content as well.

www.headshotgaming.co.uk - a website run by people who hang around the same websites as those found at DTT. Great bunch of folk and definitely with a lot of great content. Senjaru, the big man of HSG, has kindly offered TPS a .com as well! Great guy.

www.thegameheroes.com - a website run by former members of Screwattack.com. They have separated themselves perfectly and are now an awesome website, who have affiliated themselves with Thatguywiththeglasses.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Darkbeatdk - This is Darkbeat, a man who has created a fun little videosegment called Do Ya Liek Teh Vidya Games? Awesome stuff, definitely check it all out!

And now for a great upcoming talent who definitely deserves some love:

http://www.youtube.com/user/ERod2010 - ERod, the blockbuster buster. There have been a lot of movies that have been hyped and praised to be the greatest blockbusters of all time. However, when the time comes and the cinemas take em in, they turn out to be nothing more than a big pile of poop. Enter ... ERod.
Inspired by members of TGWTG adding a lot of flavors of his own, ERod guides us through these movies and tears it a new one in the process. Literally!

This has been Puddle Jumper, check everyone here out and I'll see you next time! Don't forget to join the forums at www.tehpwnshop.com/forums !

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Updates - september 2nd

Hey guys, PJ here with some updates

1) Teh Pwn Shop is finally back. After a month of waiting, and posting on the old forums which managed to be recovered, Tehpwnshop.com/forums is now officially up. So go check that out.
2) Unfortunately, the main site isn't up yet so that means that I'm going to hold off on big content, only posting tHops
3) Speaking of, I already got three big articles lines up for release
4) Also, sadly, there aren't many trailers I can "hop" ... which is kind of a problem.
5) Lastly, I'm not sure if I'm going to keep WIDS a regular feature. Not a lot of people have even critiqued it as I keep requesting. Which doesn't mean I'm stopping the series! There's still more on the way!

That's it for now!